Speak Up

Sounds scary, right? Or maybe you're like me where the thought doesn't exactly bother you but when it actually comes time to do it...you can't seem to get the words out. Or maybe you are absolutely not afraid of speaking up for yourselves and others. The former is definetly a sign of a lack of confidence.

In life, sometimes, yes, we can take the back seat and just go with the flow. Other times, however, we need to make the flow. Speaking up for yourself (especially in a situation where the end result may leave you severely disadvantaged) is a necessary skill to have. You might say, "Oh, but, that's just not me. I'm an introvert." That kind of thinking is so false and terrible for your mental health.

Being an introvert or extrovert has virtually nothing to do with being shy and everything to do with how you "charge your batteries." An introvert relaxes by being by themselves; most will say "I just need a little time to myself." An extrovert relaxes by hanging around their friends; most will say something like, "I can't wait to go chill at my bestfriend's house." There are such things as shy extroverts and outgoing introverts.

With that being said, being an introvert can no longer be your excuse for not speaking up for yourself. Have confidence in what you say so that people respect you and what you believe. Now, don't be too confident where you won't listen to anyone else and you always believe you're right. And, most definetly, do not only speak up when you want attention. The latter is a sign of lack of confidence (a topic for later). Speak up for yourself but always remember to stay humble. Until next time, stay CONFIDENT.

A Constant Battle

As obvious as this might seem, I still feel the need to say this: being confident is a constant battle. There are so many things in society that are constantly bombarding us and telling us we aren't good enough. Ever since we were little, we were told based on commercials we saw on TV what beauty was- or at least according to the industry. Then, in every day life we have those people who can't keep their opinions to themselves. You know, the ones who don't understand the concept of "what's pretty to me may not be pretty to you" (and vice versa).  Your parents may even be extremely critical - my mom was, I can relate - and pointed out every flaw you had (and not always constructively either).

Besides the fact that it may seem everything (or everyone) in your life may be against your ego and/or confidence, we have to see ourselves in a positive light at all times. You could walk into a room where everyone believes that you're the ugliest thing alive, as long as you know that you're beautiful, it doesn't matter. And if you are a Christian, we must always remember that we are beautifully and wonderfully made in the image of God and that will never change no matter what anybody says about or thinks about you.

We have to be confident in who we are as a person as well. If you aren't really sure of who you are as a person yet, that is okay. Everyone, at least once in their life, has had to go soul searching. We have to know who we are in order to be confident about ourselves. And if you do know who you are, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

 People, as I have discovered, love to tell you who you are and what you do. The majority of the time, however, most of the people have only seen you in one setting. Now, a lot of people don't like the idea of acting different in different places but everyone does it. You aren't going to act the same at a place of employment as you would at your house - or, at least, you shouldn't.

Anyway, being confident in who you are can be a challenge, especially in the society we live in. There could be 100 plus sources of discouragement in our lives and, yes, it will be tough to ignore them but we have to. Constructive criticism is okay but anything or anyone that tells you that you aren't enough or that you are worthless because of a flaw needs to be removed from your life immediately. The truth is, everyone will say what they want about you but at the end of the day, how you feel about yourself is the only thing that matters. So, keep your head up and until next time, stay CONFIDENT.

"Me Too"

A pair of common words that can have so much meaning. I was reading a devotion in my Bible app called 'Forgiveness' when I came across the significance of these words. Mrs. Dusty had given her testimony in a group session and was crying and crying because she was afraid everyone was going to judge her because of her past. But instead she got what she called the gift of "me too." What that means is she got that relieving feeling of not being alone in what she had and\or is going through because someone spoke up about them doing the same thing. 

How does this relate to CONFIDENCE? Well in order for someone to get a "me too" someone had to be confident enough to say "me too" in the first place. I've heard many times in church that how you know you really are over something you've done in your life is when you can tell your testimony. You have to be confident enough in who you are as a person now to say something about your past that could be embarrassing or even incriminating. 

The pair of words "me too" are a blessing to a person who feel alone in whatever they're going through. But in order to get that "me too" someone has to be confident enough to speak up about what they've faced in life. We need to be confident in ourselves now so that someone we meet can get that "me too" from us. A "me too" can be that little push that helps someone make it through a struggle they might've felt they couldn't get through. Until next time, stay CONFIDENT. 

Maybe You Should Try Being a Nudist

Now that I have your attention, I actually believe that being confident about your natural (and yes, naked) body can help your overall confidence. "Research at the University of Northern Iowa discovered that nudists have significantly higher body self-acceptance. Another study concluded that teens at a New York nudist camp were 'extraordinarily well-adjusted, happy, and thoughtful.' It’s also excellent for children to grow up free of shame about the human body." ( Hank Pellissier, 2013 ) There are many studies, besides these quoted, that suggest that a person who is confident with their naked body are just confident about themselves in general. You may not go all out ( I mean, I haven't) but a good way to try this is right before you get in the shower, take a look at your body in the mirror. It may sound weird but that's just because you're not used to it. Also, another reason is that society has taught us to sexualize our bodies and not just appreciate them for what they are- but that's another topic altogether. 

Anyhow, try doing this every time you get in the shower and I promise you'll see a difference in how you view yourself. One of the main reasons we may be insecure about ourselves is because of the things people have said about how we look. With this method- the "nude method", if you will- you'll already know how your body looks and it'll just be one more way to combat insecurity in your life. 

Social nudity is also a good way to keep your health up, too. Some of these benefits include: stress reduction, satiation of (or satisfaction of the) curiosity about the human body, reduction of porn addiction, a sense of full-body integration and developing a wholesome attitude about the opposite gender.  Hopefully, you guys will try it out- at least the "nude method"- and if you do, comment and tell me what you experienced. Until next time, stay CONFIDENT. 

Timing is Everything

Almost 4 years ago I started this blog and here we are on my first post. Now, when I had initially started this blog I was feeling down and wanted to encourage other people - hence the blog name CONFIDENCE. I don't know why I didn't make a post then but recently ( again, I guess), I had the urge to start a blog. When I had discovered that I already had a blog (and remembered why I even made it in the first place) I realized that everything really does happen for a reason. 

Thinking back on it, I realize that if I had started this CONFIDENCE blog before this time I would be giving false information out on how to really be confident. See, at that time I only knew, let's say, a very faint idea of what confidence actually was. I had a kind of confidence that many people have: a Costume Confidence. I call it Costume Confidence because that form of confidence isn't real and you only wear it on the outside of you. 

Enough about that topic, however, I bet you're asking yourself: how does timing tie in with CONFIDENCE? Well, right now you might be going through some things that really have you doubting yourself and make you feel like you don't have any worth. If you're anything like me, you've probably been facing some of these issues and\or situations since birth and that's okay. We have to go through things in life so that we become better human beings. Also, whatever we go through in life will help someone else in the long run. How? Well, you have to remember that you aren't the only one facing that particular issue in life and that even future generations will go through the same or very similar situations. So, if you ever feel like you can't make it through something, remember that some day (maybe in the near future) that someone is going to need you to tell your testimony, your story. Maybe it'll be because they need your "Me Too" - another topic I'll discuss later- or maybe it will help them to see they can make it through whatever they're going through, too. Whatever the reason stay strong and make it through your situation, whether it be for yourself or for someone else. And remember stay CONFIDENT.